I was a good woman to you. I loved you and gave you in and everything you ever asked for or needed. I was there by your side when others turned their back on you. I stayed with you when others thought I should just walk away. You were my heart my soul-mate so I thought. When we were apart all I looked forward to was seeing your face. Waking up to you meant the world to me. And closing my eyes next to you gave me comfort as I slept. In all of that time I never thought we would end up like this.
Never did I deserve what you’re giving me now. Why would you put your hands on me? What did I do to you for you to think this was OK? Was I not good enough for you? I thought I was a good woman to you. Was I not pretty enough for you? Did I gain to much weight? Why are you yelling at me? I cleaned the house like you like. I want to go over to my friends house but you won’t let me. Why would you call me a slut and a whore? I’m no good…is that what you think of me? After all I have done for you. Please don’t make me sleep with you, but I’m not in the mood tonight! I know that you love me. So why do you hit me? I’m not a punching bag. I’m a person with real feelings. And your action are stripping me of who I am. I feel ashamed as if I asked for this. God why is this happening to me? I cry myself to sleep at night trying to figure out where things went wrong.
These are the words of victim of abuse. Who fell in love with a man who she thought was her soulmate. He showed her so much love in the beginning. The kind of love that she thought she was missing in her life. At first she brushed the red flags off because all she wanted was to be loved. Maybe he will change if I just stick by his side. There are so many different reasons women stay that others will never understand unless they have lived this horrid life.
But at some point you have to be willing to let go and reclaim your life. I know that letting go isn’t easy but feeling safe should be. And if your living in fear then your not living. Loving a person and being loved shouldn’t cause you mental or physical damage. Yes it will come with some ups and downs. But it should never cause you your life.
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Love is Respect – the National Dating Abuse Helpline
Text “loveis” to 22522
For rape/sexual assault services, contact
RAINN—the Rape Abuse Incest National Network