Recognizing Anger

What is anger? Anger is a strong feeling of annoyance displeasure or hostility. It is also a problem that has no limits on who it latches onto. It doesn’t care about age, race, social status or educational background. When you allow anger to fester inside it can become a factor in destroying marriages, the breakdown of families and the weakening of communities. You must identify the root of your anger. Usually the anger stems from past hurts and guilt. Anger comes in when new offenses remind us of past offenses. We have to remove the thinking process that because it was in the past you should be over it. There has to be forgiveness in order to let go of anger. If not anger will continue to consume you every time your tension points are triggered.

Factors that can contribute to Anger:

  • Rejection
  • Favoritism
  • Ridicule
  • False Accusations
  • Abuse (physical, sexual, verbal, emotional and mental)
  • Jealousy
  • Insecurity

 

Because the pain of certain offenses we establish attitudes and actions that lead to guilt and anger.

  • Pride
  • Envy
  • Expectations of others
  • Generalizations of a group due to one person
  • Taking up offenses on behalf of others

It is time to rip the mask off and acknowledge that you are angry and what you’re angry about. You cannot continue to live in past reliving the offenses that happened back then. As long as you live there you will continue to be angry and never learn to forgive. Don’t you want your power back? It is time to be free from the bondage of anger. Are you willing to work towards your freedom? If you are continue to join us on Facebook www.facebook.com/luv2beu.

 

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Causes & Results of Rejection

We have all experienced rejection at some point in our lives with different results. There are many different causes and results of rejection. Being rejected doesn’t mean that you come from an abusive home. People from stable homes experience rejection. There are so many things that can happen in life to open the door for rejection. I will be sharing some of those causes with you.

Causes

  • Death of a parent
  • A child born with disabilities
  • Comparing a child to sibling
  • Being put up for adoption
  • Abandonment
  • Abuse (physical, verbal, emotional and sexual)
  • Peer rejection
  • Unfaithfulness
  • Divorce

Rejection is everywhere and when there is cause there is also a result. The results of rejection can alter our spiritual, physical and emotional wellbeing. Here is a short list of some of the results of rejection.

  • Insecurity
  • Anger
  • Bitterness
  • Fear
  • Jealousy
  • Distrust
  • Worthlessness
  • Rage
  • Competition

You do not have to be held in bondage to rejection. It is possible to be free but you have to be willing to do the work. Join me on www.facebook.com/luv2beu as we discuss this a little more throughout the month of January.

 

 

 

A Victim Speaks!

I was a good woman to you. I loved you and gave you in and everything you ever asked for or needed. I was there by your side when others turned their back on you. I stayed with you when others thought I should just walk away. You were my heart my soul-mate so I thought. When we were apart all I looked forward to was seeing your face. Waking up to you meant the world to me. And closing my eyes next to you gave me comfort as I slept. In all of that time I never thought we would end up like this.

Never did I deserve what you’re giving me now. Why would you put your hands on me? What did I do to you for you to think this was OK? Was I not good enough for you? I thought I was a good woman to you. Was I not pretty enough for you? Did I gain to much weight? Why are you yelling at me? I cleaned the house like you like. I want to go over to my friends house but you won’t let me. Why would you call me a slut and a whore? I’m no good…is that what you think of me? After all I have done for you. Please don’t make me sleep with you, but I’m not in the mood tonight! I know that you love me. So why do you hit me? I’m not a punching bag. I’m a person with real feelings. And your action are stripping me of who I am. I feel ashamed as if I asked for this. God why is this happening to me? I cry myself to sleep at night trying to figure out where things went wrong.

These are the words of victim of abuse. Who fell in love with a man who she thought was her soulmate. He showed her so much love in the beginning. The kind of love that she thought she was missing in her life. At first she brushed the red flags off because all she wanted was to be loved. Maybe he will change if I just stick by his side. There are so many different reasons women stay that others will never understand unless they have lived this horrid life.  

 But at some point you have to be willing to let go and reclaim your life. I know that letting go isn’t easy but feeling safe should be. And if your living in fear then your not living. Loving a person and being loved shouldn’t cause you mental or physical damage. Yes it will come with some ups and downs. But it should never cause you your life.

National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)
TTY 1-800-787-3224

Love is Respect – the National Dating Abuse Helpline
1-866-331-9474
TTY 1-866-331-8453
Text “loveis” to 22522

For rape/sexual assault services, contact
RAINN—the Rape Abuse Incest National Network
1-800-656-4673 (HOPE)

Depression: A Peek In My Window

I had no idea at the time that I was suffering from depression or what it even was. I lost my father at the age of 6 and my life was changed forever. I remember wanting to be like other kids with a mother and father in the home with me. As I was getting older I longed to have a father in my life. I missed it so badly that at times my body was in physical pain. Do you know what it’s like to want something so bad that it hurts? Really all I wanted was for someone or something to fill this void in my heart.

All in middle school and high school I had episodes where all I wanted was to be alone. These episodes would happen from time to time but I just thought I was going through some type of change. There were times when I was happy well at least what appeared to be me being happy. Writing was my way of coping with life. I use to lose myself in my short stories. Then I began to journal as a way to deal with the thoughts in my head. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of emotions and no one was there to save me. I couldn’t tell anyone what was going on inside of me because I was afraid that people would think I was crazy. Rage at some point had taken over a big chunk of my life and I didn’t even know that it was happening.

After I gave birth to my son and he died I went into another state of depression. I was angry at God and the world. How could He take my son? Was I such a horrible person that my son had to be punished? I didn’t want to live anymore. I slept all of time and I was barely eating. Not taking a thought to the fact that I had a living child that I needed to care for. This was the first time that I sought help for what was killing me on the inside. Now begins my journey to recovery so I thought. Did I know it would be a 20+ yrs. road to recovery? Of course I had no idea!

There was a point in my life in 2007 when depression took me on the path to suicidal thoughts. I truly wanted to just die. I was feeling worthless and wondering what my purpose in this life was. I struggled as a single parent and at times things were overwhelming for me. I had a lot of past trauma that I was still trying to overcome. I recall one day when I had planned out how I would end my life. I knew that my grandmother and my mother would take care of my children, so I wasn’t worried about them. There was one person who always knew when I was fighting that demon called depression, my sister-in-law. I remember she confronted me about how I was acting and of course I denied where I was emotionally. She forced me to go to the doctor to get help and I did. The turning point was her showing me how I would destroy my girls if I did not get help.

If you have a love one suffering from depression please do not look the other way or act as if it’s not a problem. Some people don’t even know they are suffering from depression this is why it is important to know the signs. If you feel a love one may be dealing with depression talk with them it just may save their life.

I AM REJECTION

I am rejection and I wear many hats.

I am the face of anger and I wear bitterness well! I dress in unforgiveness and my undergarment is insecurity.

I have caused you to build walls to keep people out. But really what I did was trick you into keeping God out!

I have made you think that you are worthless and no one could ever love you. Because of me you don’t know how to trust.

I am rejection!!!

Rejection has affected so many of us in so many different ways and now it’s time to heal. Take a long look at your life and write down the first time that you encountered rejection. Because until you identify the root of rejection you will never receive the healing that you need.