It must be a wonderful feeling in your heart when you can pick up the phone and hear your mother’s voice on the other end. Well I dont have that feeling anymore. I have seen people mistreat their mothers. Do and say anything to them as if they were trash. That angers me cause I would give anything just to see her smile. I want to hear your voice. See understand that this is the flesh talking. The part of me that misses being able to share the things that are going on in my life with my mother. I have to say that she really was my best friend. We talked about everything. I shared my darkest secrets with her. She was my rock when I couldn’t stand on my own. I wake up some days and look at my phone knowing that I can’t call you. Some nights I cry myself to sleep because it hurts so much. I do take comfort in the fact that your not here suffering anymore. But there is a void in my heart that I know only the Lord can fill. Ma sometimes I just dont know how to allow Him to do that. You were everthing to me. Even when you thought I wasnt listening to you I heard every word. You never gave up on me even when I had given up on life. You were there to pull me up, you dusted me off and let me know it would be okay. When others thought I would be the mud on the bottom of their shoes, you let me know those same ppl would be my stepping stones. A mothers Love is the best thing in this world. Its to be cherished not take for granted. Cause once its gone you can never go back and change things. Its then gone forever. Im thankful that the Lord gave me the chance to say all the things I wanted and needed to say before you left this earth. I can find peace in that you knew just how much you meant to me. And how grateful I was for all you did for me and my children. As Im sitting here writing I just feel this empty place in my heart. God this hurts so much. I always thought it would get better but it seems harder. There is so much I want to tell you. Right now you would be praying telling me Angel God is in control so whatever His will is let it be done. Then you would tell me not to worry. Ma Im not worried anymore because I do have in my heart all that you taught me. I close my eyes and I see and hear you speaking to me. With that I have comfort with whats going on. You have been with me through every major thing in my life and now I just feel lost at times. Ma I Love You and I Miss You more than words could ever say. So if you still have your mother here on this earth with you be sure to let her know just what she means to you. If there is a rift between you and your mother ask God to help you find a way to fix it, heal from it and move on. When their gone thats it you will never have the chance to say or do the things you want to with them. Just something to think about.
“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15 (NLT)
I had someone ask me “How can you forgive a person after they have hurt you so bad?” I pondered that question for a minute before I could give her an answer. See there is nothing like having a person hurt you to the core of your heart. To have someone you love and trust with your life turn around and destroy your very being.
When you’re living in a world of un-forgiveness you’re in darkness. This life will cause you to become cold and distant to others. It will cause you to not have compassion for others. You become hateful in a sense. And that person or persons that hurt you has total control over you. I think a part of forgiving means that you have moved past the hurt. You become a better person when you learn how to forgive those that have caused you the worst pain. And then they no longer have control over who you are. When you forgive you take your life back!! Why would you want a person that hurt you to have control over you?
I have to think of it in terms of if God can forgive me for all my wrong who am I not to forgive my fellow man?